Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
