He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Terrible idea I love it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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