I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
