i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
