Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
did you just send me my own nude
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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