He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
