I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
