Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
