We're facebook friends in real life
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
