Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
