is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
