come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
