I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
don't judge my taste in strippers
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
