Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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