i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
