Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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