what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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