The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
