It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
