Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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