How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Too much gin, very little bucket
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
