Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
