what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
love makes seman taste better
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
