Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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