Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
