I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We are two peas in an std pod
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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