Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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