i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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