I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
