just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
