she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
