Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
as a side note pls kill me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
