your thong is hanging out like whoa
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
