I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
