I wish I could teleport
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
