I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
