tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
