i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
