You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You're like the curious george of whores
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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