I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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