she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
