Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
