The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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