she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
