bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
