this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
false alarm, still single
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