Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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