I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
