Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
