why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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