Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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