Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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